I'm a writer who possesses a strong voice, eccentric worldview, and the versatility to write everything from biting humor to informative articles to sharp short fiction. Here's a sample of what I've recently published.

Humor writing

McSweeney's Internet Tendency
I Portray Middle-Aged Men Living Life to the Fullest In Prescription Drug Commercials 
You Seem Distant Since I've Attained Enlightenment
Addressing the Followers the Day After My End-of-the-World Prophecy Failed to Come True

Splitsider
I’m Changing This Bar’s Jazz Jam Session Rules 

Short fiction

Spillers
Eel Sauce Blues (No. 6; forthcoming)
Spit Take (No. 1; out of print)

Shotgun Honey
Marriage Material (Website)

The Oddville Press
Stoma Hole (Volume 2, Issue 4)

Heater Magazine
Lucky Wishbone (Volume 3, Number 8)

Rock Bottom Journal
Time for a Joke (Issue 6)

Articles

UX Magazine
Don't Take That Tone with Me

GoDaddy Garage
Connor Rickett Dishes on the Freelance Life
Surviving Nine-to-Fiving
Match Wits with Your Online Nemeses
How to Make Writing SEO-Friendly Copy Almost Kind of Tolerable
Weird and Dreadful Freelancing Tales
Write Your Own Damn Website Content

Essays

All About Jazz
Hey, George Frazier--I'm 10 Years Old Over Here

Needles and Sins
Kuniyoshi Dreamin'


Comedian and WTF podcaster Marc Maron proclaimed this piece "funny" in a private email exchange.